magic in the making

Dad

He has mastered the art of Princess arms, and I can tell he practices at home in front of his mirror. I cannot wait for his wedding. I hope I get invited, because I know it’s going to be beautiful. I wonder if he has a boyfriend. I wonder if he’s a good kisser. I wonder if he and his future husband will hire a surrogate mother or if they’ll adopt. He’s going to be such a good father.

-pauline

I loathe the fact that because of you, I can’t give people the benefit of the doubt.

-pauline

I love when people text me with happy news. Like they’re brimming with joy that they must share, and they choose me to share it with.

-pauline

Mediocrity

Does it make me selfish? Perhaps…but I will not settle for being a housewife. Of course I want a lover, but I would be so unhappy with just a lover. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a housewife, but I know I would not be satisfied sitting around, not working towards any particular goal. Just home at the end of the day to make my husband happy, cook dinner, feed the cat. I don’t want to fill out a permission form for my daughter (if I have a child, even) and write “stay-at-home mom” where it asks for “occupation.” Is it bad that I don’t want to be labeled as a mother? I want to be a performer, an intellectual, a reader, a writer, a professional, an expert, a best friend in the whole world. I want a future, but I want to keep this youngness. I just need to be doing. Working, persevering, achieving. I won’t be able to settle down, raise a family in the suburbs. I’ll be moving, dancing, flying. I won’t be able to deal with anyone who’ll pin me down.

-pauline

I hurt because I could never alleviate your pain.

I want a boy who will be my dance partner and sing duets with me.

-pauline

He is so beautiful it hurts.

Dear followers,

Thanks for tolerating/sharing in/maybe even enjoying a piece of me and my life. :)

Much love,
-pauline